Healing is hard. Becoming more self aware is hard. Realizing the areas where you need to grow is so hard. I have seen this so many times from spiritual accounts and Pinterest and whatever other places, but it never really stuck. It just seems like such an obvious statement, but then it hits you like a ton of bricks when you’re in the middle of it. Sometimes, it is pure bliss to recognize where you can grow or improve and other times, it feels like it could make you crumble into a million pieces. Sometimes, it feels like you could wrap yourself in a blanket and hide from the rest of the world for however long feels right. Other times, it feels like you’re on top of the world, that you are inching closer towards your higher self. One thing that I have learned in this crazy journey is to be kind to yourself. Treat yourself how you would treat your friends, your loved ones, your significant other. Ask yourself, “Would I talk to others this way?”. When you’re down in the dumps because you feel like you suck or you keep making the same mistakes, remember to talk to yourself like you would comfort someone you love. You would never bash your friends for a mistake they made or a bad decision. You would remind them of all of the good qualities about themselves and why they are lovable. Our inner voice can be one of the cruelest voices we will ever experience, but why? Why do we kick ourselves when we’re down? Maybe it is because we secretly like self loathing a little. Maybe it is because it is easier to stay down than to pick ourselves back up. But, when we are functioning from a state of wallowing in self pity and sadness and anger or whatever emotions you may feel, we are furthering ourselves from our highest potential. That doesn’t mean that we can’t feel these emotions of sadness and grief but we can’t sit in them and let them over stay their welcome. We can acknowledge these feelings and then let them pass like a quick rolling thunderstorm in the summer. Let the rain of the feelings wash away as quickly as they came and search for the rainbow in the distance. Make sure to wrap yourself in love and patience because you deserve it so much. Treat yourself with compassion because you are stuck with yourself forever. The sooner we learn this, the door of self love will open more and more until our negative self talk fades into the void. It will eventually rear its head again, but you will be better prepared to handle it. You will be able to laugh in its face because you know that it does not serve you.

Never in my life did I think that I would be creating a blog, especially one about myself. Mostly everyone goes through a point in their life when they question what their purpose is. Often times, they don’t guess that it has anything to do with what they would consider a weakness in themselves. From the time I can remember, I closed my voice off to the world and suppressed who I am as a person. I have always been described as quiet, and shy, and soft spoken and I clung to those words with all my might. It became my identity. If people said I was those things, then it must be true. I never challenged that thought process until recently. I realized that those thoughts, along with other limiting beliefs, have caused me to have an identity that wasn’t fully true to myself. I was told that I was good at school, good at sports, obedient, quiet, hard working, resilient, mellow, nice, so that became all that I felt I could ever be. I felt I had to always honor the image that people had of me. Nothing more, nothing less. Reiki is what completely changed my life and changed my way of thinking. The concept of chakras and energy healing made me realize that I was in desperate need of changing a lot of the thought processes that I had believed for so long in my life. I realized that my throat, sacral, and solar plexus chakras were definitely chronically closed. Being able to begin to heal these energy centers that have been closed for God knows how long has been the most liberating experience of my life. I am finding my voice in this world that has been silenced. As I have become more open to new ideas and hobbies, creating a blog came to mind. It was a pressing idea, one that felt so right yet so wrong to the old Shayla. How am I supposed to put myself out there and be vulnerable to people I have never met before? Who will care? Will it even make an impact on anyone’s life? These are all pressing questions that I had and still have, but I somehow sat down and made the blog anyway. The ideas all flowed to me and I created the name within seconds, all because I finally allowed the creativity within me to flow. Crazy things happen when you actually allow your soul to guide you without surrendering to your limiting beliefs or ego. The ego is a crazy thing, a blessing and a curse that will keep you safe but stuck in your box.

I’m not exactly sure which direction this blog will take, but I know that it will consist of my journey of self discovery and the lessons that I learn as I take a spiritual path to healing myself. I have known the basic concepts of spirituality, but I am a novice at best, hence the blog name. Normally, I would shut the idea down of even trying something new because of the idea that if I’m not going to be perfect at something, why even bother. I know that this is what my throat chakra needs to heal. What better way to release all of this stagnant energy than to put your entire life and emotions on blast. I hope that this blog reaches people like me who are embarking on this new journey with an open mind. I know that I have so much to learn and so many lessons to grow through, but it is invigorating to finally embrace this. If you have read this far, thank you so much for taking the time to listen to my newfound voice!