Energy? Hi, How Can I Help You?

In a world where literally everything is energy, I somehow decided that the best idea would be to absorb the energy of others. From the time I can remember, I have learned that the best way to navigate through this life is to pick up the energy of those surrounding you and follow their vibe. If they’re quiet and mellow, then I am quiet and mellow. If they are outgoing and goofy, then I allow myself to be more outgoing and goofy. This coping mechanism definitely started in childhood and has latched on to my mind as the best way to connect with people. If my husband is in a bad mood, the only imaginable thing to do would be to absorb that energy and turn into a grump myself. That way, we can both be beholden to the grasp of feeling like crap because why not? I have obviously realized that this is not a way to live but sometimes, my goodness does this thought process not want to let go of its hold on me. I have to remind myself that I don’t have to adapt to the vibration around me. I need to be able to vibrate at my own frequency regardless of my surroundings. Simply put, I don’t have to match the room. But… that takes guts, at least in my eyes. That would mean that I would have to be confident in myself and stand firmly in who I am (yikes).

With a little help from my friends (friends meaning reiki), I hope that I will one day be able to accomplish this and heal the parts of me that felt it was necessary to attach so deeply to this limiting belief. If you’re a people pleasing introvert like me, then you know that this is no small feat. It will take a lot of practice and mishaps and failures to finally get it right. It will take me repeating positive affirmations over and over again until I’m blue in the face. It will take me staring into my eyes in the mirror to finally actually “see” myself. It will take countless more interactions with people at different frequencies. I know in my heart that love is not morphing into another person, but being your authentic self no matter the situation. I saw in a post somewhere (such a typical Gen Z/Millennial thing to say) that this person realized that they needed to believe that they were worthy of love as they were. They didn’t need to act a certain way or people please themselves to death to be worthy. They already were. This resonated with me to my core because I know it’s what I needed to hear and it probably led me write to this post subconsciously. What good is it if we’re all the same human robots with no emotions of our own? Spoiler alert: it would suck and life would be so very boring. The good news? At least I can identify that there is a problem and I have a solution. The next step? The hardest part, which is putting these realizations to action. This is apparently a lesson that my soul signed up for though, so the only way out is to fulfill the contract of loving myself unconditionally as I am with absolutely no exceptions.